Crying

I have recently realized that I do everything I can to avoid thinking about the first few days after placement. Anytime I start to remember I find something else and focus on it so intensely it's impossible to think of anything else. I find myself doing the same thing anytime I start to cry. I don't know if it's healthy or not, but I don't know how to fix it. I've tried just letting myself cry, but I can't.

I did cry last night as everyone was leaving. I felt a little awkward about it, but that was the first time in a while I actually couldn't stop it. It didn't last long, though.

The visit overall went really well, I think. Everyone seemed fairly comfortable. I haven't really talked about with them and I doubt I will, except just to let them know I enjoyed it and I liked seeing them and I would be willing to do it again, if they wanted to.